why you should thank the people who have hurt you most in life.
/for future reference, be careful who you decide to hurt, because some people pray and when they burst into tears, Allah acts on their behalf.
Here you go.
You don’t come across these people by accident, they were your catalysts. In the words of C. Joybell, — we’re all stars that think they’re dying until we realize we’re collapsing into supernovas, to become more beautiful than ever before. It often takes the contrast of pain to completely appreciate what we have, and it often takes hate to incite self-recognition. Sometimes the way light enters us is, in fact, through the wound.
Even if it wasn’t your fault, it is your problem, and you get to choose what you do, aftermath. You have every right to rage and rant of someone’s being, but you have the right to choose to be at peace. To thank them is to forgive them, and to forgive them is to choose to realize that the other side of resentment is wisdom. To find wisdom in pain is to realize that the people who become “supernovas” are the ones who acknowledge their pain and then channel it into something better, not people who just acknowledge it and then leave it to stagnate and remain.
The people who have been through a lot are often the ones who are wiser and kinder and happier overall. This is because they’ve been “through” it, not “past” it or “over” it. They’ve completely acknowledged their feelings and they’ve learned and they’ve grown. They develop compassion and self-awareness. They are more conscious of who they let into their lives. They take a more active role in creating their lives, in being grateful for what they have and in finding reasons for what they don’t.
It showed you what you deserve. Those relationships didn’t actually hurt you; they showed you an unhealed part of yourself, a part that was preventing you from being truly loved. That’s what happens when we finally get past hurtful experiences and terrible relationships. We realize we are worth more, so we choose more. We realize how we blindly or naively said “yes” to someone or gave them our mind and heart space when we didn’t have to. We realize our role in choosing what we want in our lives, and by experiencing what seems like the worst, we finally acknowledge that it feels so wrong. Because, we deserve better.
Truly coming to peace with anything is being able to say: “Thank you for that experience.” To fully move on from anything, you must be able to recognize what purpose it served and how it made you better. Until that moment, you’ll only be ruminating over how it made things worse, which means you’re not to the other side yet. To fully accept your life —the highs, lows, good, bad— is to be grateful for all of it, and to know that… the “good” teaches you well, but the “bad” teaches you better.
[101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think]
— ábstract.
